Who Are You Being?

Leaderships styles ebb and flow – do a search on the web for top leadership styles and you will see results like “charisma” “democratic” “transactional” “servant” and so on. You can tell a lot about the way individuals think about a topic by looking at what the related searches are to a specific topic. AKA the “people also searched for” section. In this case – “what are the latest trends in leadership?” “What is the leadership style in 2023?” “What is the modern leadership style?” and so on and so forth. You get the point. People are out there on the interwebs quietly asking themselves what type of leadership is required at this moment in time. Who can blame them? Most every leader we speak with is facing a new, disorienting world in which employees are letting them know that the old pre-pandemic ways just aren’t cutting it.

This goes beyond whether you let employee A work from home 3 days a week. It goes to the heart of what we, as a global community, experienced not so very long ago.  Remember when we were in lockdown and watched that scary Johns Hopkins interactive data map showing the red spread of COVID across the globe? Remember when we thought to ourselves that it would be “over” in a few weeks and then we’d all go back to “normal” (whatever normal is). Remember when we sequestered our food outside in the cold for 24 hours and then wiped it down with Clorox wipes before putting it away? Okay, maybe that was just me. Here’s the thing. Everything many of us are lucky enough to take for granted – social connection, health, freedom of movement, safety – all stripped away in a matter of days. That kind of shock changes people. It reorients us toward what truly, deeply matters. It makes us ask the question (what we at Renascence call the Spice Girls Question) What do you want? What do you really, really want? Turns out it might not be the culture that was on offer at your company. And to be fair, this isn’t just your company – this malaise is a widespread phenomenon.

We are talking about people’s hearts and sense of connection. So, how do you lead your way through what is pretty squishy stuff? Of course, this all impacts your bottom line, your productivity -- but the answer isn’t to be found in spreadsheets. The answer? It is in your presence.

Stay with me. In fact, stay present. There is no more important quality in any leader than presence. Why is this? Turns out that people are pretty good at sussing out when someone is going through the motions. Ever been in a crowded room having a conversation with someone who is scanning the rest of the room for who else might be around? Or how about speaking with someone who is clearly waiting for their moment to make their point – who is listening only to speak their piece?

Or what about the leader or group of leaders who know the drill so well (you can call it alignment if it makes you happy) that they can operate on autopilot. Ever drive somewhere like your office, the grocery store, school pick up and wonder how you exactly got there? Auto pilot. Ever start a weekly meeting and find yourself listening to the same report out, the same personalities bringing in the same concerns and foibles? You are all on autopilot.

 Leaders often make the mistake that if they just speak more clearly and more often that their message will get out there. They work with their senior leaders to develop Key Messages and Townhalls. Or, recognizing autopilotism, they “shake things up” - schedule a staff retreat or maybe do a reorg. It’s not enough. Not if your presence isn’t front and center.  

What does that mean? Most definitions revolve around physical presence (something is present in the environment, your presence is required at an event) and, yes, physicality is important. But it is more. When you are with someone who is exhibiting true presence, they are connecting with you, looking at you, holding space for your collective interaction. You feel acknowledged, accepted and seen. And in that moment, you are building a bridge to one another.

Presence is about the exchange of energy. Are you talking outward, “at” someone, or inward, only really “to” yourself? These are both creating only one way energy.

Or are you truly present and communicating “with” others? This is two-way energy – a shared energy. It matters – that is if you truly want to communicate and create the future.

As a leader, this requires a serious amount of vulnerability and courage. If you are really “in it” with someone or a group of someone’s you are no longer in the me and you space, you are in the us space – where anything can occur.

No veneer. No fancy words. Just your commitment to the power of being right here, right now, in connection with others no matter the circumstances.

At Renascence, this presence work is a foundational element of our program. We guide you into presence – with yourself first and then, more broadly, with your life and world. We are requesting your Presence. Care to join?

“Everything is energy - that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want, and you cannot help but get that reality. It’s physics.” Albert Einstein